You can do this anytime, anywhere, but this ritual, which I call “Appreciations,” is great around the Thanksgiving table. It’s wonderful for bringing people closer, even those who don’t know one another very well (because you can always find something to appreciate about someone, even if it is the Brussels sprouts casserole he contributed to dinner). It’s effective with alienated kids who tend to hear nothing but complaints about them most of the time.
“Appreciations” works best when everyone chooses one person as the focus and then everyone else, as the spirit moves them, speaks about that person. When everyone who wants to has spoken, move on to focus on the next person. There are four rules: remarks must be positive (no sarcasm or backhanded compliments), no one else may interject anything while someone is speaking, no one has to say anything if he or she doesn’t want to speak, and the object of the appreciations, instead of responding, just silently takes in the praise. It’s surprising how difficult this last rule is—but you’ll get used to it!
This post is an excerpt from The Joy of Self-Care by Becca Anderson, which can be found at Amazon and Mango Media.
Kindness is Your Super Power 